What is Conscious Uncoupling?

For a few months now, he’s been acting distant. The harder you try to draw him close, the more he pulls away. Last night, he came home and asked for a divorce. He loves you but, you know, he’s not in love with you. You could smell it on him. You just knew something was off. However, the to-do list of life has kept you busy enough to stave off this moment. What about the children? “Don’t worry,” he says. “They’ll learn to accept it.” The fact is: He’s fallen in love with someone new—someone else. Actually, he wants the kids to meet her. Disbelief, anger, fear, helplessness and, worst of all, validation of your worst fears seem to be staring you down, waiting for you to blink. How can this be happening to me? I have done everything I was supposed to do. I have been so loving—I have given so much.

For the quietly heart-broken and stoically walking-wounded, there’s an answer to whispered prayer and a sacred prelude to Calling in “The One.”

It’s called Conscious Uncoupling.

Created by best-selling author of Calling in “The One,” Katherine Woodward Thomas, Conscious Uncoupling is a five-week transformative coaching program and online course designed to help you release the trauma of a break-up, reclaim your power and re-invent your life—for real. The truth is: A break-up can be a beautiful transition as oppose to a shattering. Yet learning to complete a relationship while recreating one’s sense of self in order to receive new love (with a whole heart) isn’t something taught in school–although it should be.

Understandably, many are drawn to the Calling in “The One” work after someone else turned out to not be “The One.” I see it in my clients. In terms of completing the past, there’s often a deep need for more than insight. There’s a voracious, holy, hunger to actually transform. It’s time to create a new relationship reflective of who they really are. Always, always, always: This begins in the relationship with themselves. Within the five sessions of Conscious Uncoupling, we’re working with the original Source Fracture, or false belief, that formed when you were very young. Common ones are “I am alone” or “I am too much” or “I am not good enough.”

Very often, we enter into a relationship expecting (fingers-crossed anyway) that this partner will finally “fix” this painful sense of self. Ultimately, though, we are mistaken. Sooner or later, the dynamic has devolved to painfully reflect that false belief. This wound, or Source Fracture, is old for it first happened when we were very young. It’s actually not his fault (which does not excuse poor behavior.) Still no one, but no one, can ever love us in a way we’re unwilling to love ourselves.

Any reality television show or supermarket tabloid claims a superficial fix-it strategy to said dilemma. Lip-implant? Breast-lift? Liposuction? Nose-job? Get pregnant?

None of the above.

The answer is an inside job organized around a choice—a commitment—to radically and lovingly develop that sense of self experiencing this heartbreak. It’s all about relational development on the deepest level of identity, it really is. And when we learn how to love and relate to our own self in this missing way, we co-create a new possibility. In a very real, non-woo-woo way, we become “The One” that’s been missing. The internal barriers are released and magnetism is unleashed. A deeper, unprecedented, recognition is in the air.

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Written By Melissa Erin Monahan

Melissa Erin Monahan, M.A., LCAT is a passionate facilitator of transformation on the deepest level of identity in service to co-creating a life that mirrors your soul. Trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas and Claire Zammit, she is a Certified Conscious Uncoupling, Calling in “The One” and Feminine Power Transformative Coach, as well as New York State Licensed Creative Arts Therapist. She earned her Master of Arts in Drama Therapy from New York University while holding a Bachelor’s in Journalism from Marist College. Melissa is author of Becoming a Feminine Co-Creator in the internationally bestselling anthology In Pursuit of the Divine: Written Stories to Empower a Woman’s Soul. A Certified Feminine Power Transformative Leader, Melissa offers virtual workshops with Feminine Rising Sanctuary, live workshops in the New York City-Metro Area and private coaching worldwide. “Melissa is a master who has a gift for healing, helping and transcending. I have been a consumer of all things therapy, self-help and 12-steps for 20 years. I can honestly say this was the most successful experience.” ~ Michelle, New York City Visit melissaerinmonahan.com or femininecocreator.com