Self love is not always easy but your efforts will be rewarding. It starts with being honest with yourself about who you truly are and accepting all of the qualities that make you, you! It’s important to accept everything about you, even if today you perceive parts as being negative or bad. Our qualities and behaviors are neither positive or negative they only become so when we attach the meaning to them.
We are each a manifestation of perfection. It is the different combinations of values, qualities and expressions that make us each unique and special.
One of my highest values is personal growth and evolution. I am inspired to continuously uncover the things that hold me back and be open to new awarenesses so I can be the best me possible.
The other day, Julia shared with me that sometimes she feels in our interactions I over power her thoughts and opinions and see my way as the “right way”. I immediately knew although I didn’t have the awareness is was probably really accurate. “Being right” has been what I call one of my “strong suits”. It is some protective mechanism I developed as a child because I didn’t feel worthy or acknowledged. I have been working on it for years, today it is much more subtle than as a teenager.
In the past, when someone shared something like this about me I would either get defensive or beat myself up inside. I use to hate certain qualities about myself as they often brought upon undesirable situations or outcomes. I discovered pushing them away or hiding them to please others didn’t lead to inner happiness as I was denying a part of me.
My dedication to inner growth over the last 9 years has allowed me to love and accept all of me and to know that although skies the limit for my potential each day all I can do is be my best. Today I accept that having a strong personality and “being right” is a quality that has served me at some point in my life and may continue to in certain situations.
What I valued most about the situation was Julia sharing her honesty and the gift that her honesty provided me and her. Heart centered honesty is something our society and interactions need more of. (I wrote a whole post on this Speaking My Truth)
I had an epiphany later in the day about our conversation. I realized the moment Julia shared her thoughts I dropped into my heart and was connected to her feelings. I am very analytical and spend most of my days in my head (hence the reason meditation is a priority in my life) so coming from my heart isn’t common. This observation was HUGE for me, it allowed me to see how dropping into my heart I was able to see the situation from a very different angle. And then I thought about how much this tool would benefit me in so many aspects of my life.
I sent her an email thanking her for having the courage to be honest (as she generally chooses to avoid any situation that could lead to conflict) and encouraged her that the next time a similar feeling arises to stop our conversation and say “Kate I don’t feel like you are listening to my opinion”. This statement would provide an immediate trigger for me to drop into my heart and look at the situation with more clarity. This excites me, because I love the opportunity for growth.
I don’t think in the past I would have been able to gain so much learning from the situation. I feel that the more I love and accept myself the lessons that life presents me seem to come in a more gentle way. Possibly my desire and dedication to evolve and grow makes me more open to the opportunities.
The next time you are in a situation where the outcome isn’t going the way you hoped, your feeling defensive or you are beating yourself up; stop for a moment, get out of your head and drop into your heart. The heart is full of love and compassion, when we drop into our heart it’s impossible to be defensive. Try asking yourself “What would love do in this situation?”
I would love to hear any positive experiences you have that were a result of getting out of your head and into your heart. Or any exercises you use to drop into your heart. Try the tools above and let me know how they go.
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